Physics is ♡

Everyday chasing this growing unread emails.

you go by 200 today, respond, do or mark complete some 80+, go home with 300. 😂 Does this mean you slack off?

if this is how you measure success, you have done nothing. Morning at 200, end of day at 300 unread emails. Go home exhausted. forget the 80+ you did.

If this was Physics where Work done is the amount of Force at a certain Distance W= F*D, and distance is a vector;

Wi= 200
Wdone = 80
WF= 300

WF = wi -wdone + W3
w3 = 300 +80 - 200
w3 = 180

W3 means there were 180 more emails that came along that day. And this has been the crucial one  that I often choose to overlook.
wdone was the work you did today.
wf is the end result.

WF being > Wi means you still have not done 100 more emails just to break even the work today. Oftentimes, or some companies focus on this end result. But they forget W3 and the Wdone.

For them,
When you slack, it means remaining Wi = Wf or worse Wi<Wf.

If this is how you measure success you're dumb because you got the wrong perspective.
And you're putting much pressure on yourself.

Now the physics formula of Pressure is...
.
.
.
nevermind.

This is not a poem.

Are you real?
Are you not just an idea?
You are too perfect.
And we've only just met.

Before I laid eyes on you
I had warned myself,
he will not stay,
this guy will eventually go away.

Seven months into that night I still remember the impression.
I no longer remember the details of your face but I remember what I felt when I looked at you. It was a nice lovely feeling wasting the night away, hearing your silly laughters. You were teary eyed remembering your silliness.
It was a nice lovely feeling to be alive and be with a stranger, the likes of you.

During those times I noted, I will never see him again when he goes back to the US. Therefore, I looked at you longer when you were not looking. I tried to remember the details of your face against the dark of the night. I tried to remember the pitch of your voice, your accent, your gestures. Truly, memories fade. The same goes to the connection that we built.

When I remember that night, it felt so distant now. It felt as if I just woken out of a dream and I never really knew someone like you, like it never happened.

Was it just me? Because I felt the connection and you were there too. I guess I will bury the night when I happened to meet the only person, and that is you.

Teach Me How to Forget

I was sitting still just like this

staring at your back contemplating.

You gazing at the people walking by,  thankful for the moments that pass us by.

As my weight shifted to my arms I felt the weight that you, shortly, leaving me behind.

I was listening and tears jerking when you turned and meet my eyes.

Your gaze, it was a blissful 5 second moment of that night.

For that instance I tried not to look away, for you to see how my heart wanted to say that you stay.

Away from Home

3 weeks. longest I've been away from home since June 2011. This time, distantly farther but closer to heart.

Longest was when mom threw me out of the house for apparently slacking and lazing at the house on weekends. Other reason was if not that, I was out spending time traveling and hinting that I was overspending and that I did not make myself useful at home during work breaks. She sacked me. Really.

Of course, those were her version of truth. I came back 2 weeks after not because I wanted to apologize but because I didnt want to be misunderstood. Then got some more clothes and didn't show my face to them for 2 mos. I still continued my support leaving all of my savings on her closet then sped away. She knew that's all I had.

Sept 11, I received text from her wanting me back. I came back and apologized and she asked me what's there to apologize for. She admitted they judged me for just resting on weekends after stressful work and living alone on weekdays and that they thought I earned so much and spent so much I didn't save enough for myself. Then they got Pokwang.

I saved enough for the following year I traveled along with her. To show her what's there that I craved for. And that life can also be enjoyed today.

I just missed being home. ❤

A little more

Day 7.

It's been a while since I lose track of the days of the week, time of the day and day of the month.

I just know it's still August. Ive been waking up at noon (breakfast and lunch overlaps), sleeping anytime my eyes feel heavy 3x a day ( sometimes past dinner waking up hungry).

Not even going out the front gate if I am not hungry, staying indoor until sundown. Reading the book that makes me confused and now almost halfway through it.

If not for the torrential rains I'd be anywhere but home i think.

Ah, staying home is more sustainable in my pocket.

Introverts know.

August Rush

Day 1.

I woke up and my thoughts were still about my previous work and those people. I shrugged it off my mind and went on for the day.

As I drove back home at sunset, I was greeted with orange hues and clear skies. I was literally awed. 

Then I started to embrace that tomorrow no responsibility, of that sort, awaits me nor unacceptable treatment anymore. I felt relieved.

I turned on the music. Parokya ni Buchokoy singing in the background. I reflected. When was the last time I felt easy, going home witnessing that beautiful sunset? Ah, that was some 6 years in the past, when I resigned from my first work.

I did not notice, as time passed by me, ahead of me, little by little, I had pushed myself too hard. It became toxic. 

I really needed this kind of break.

On the other hand, today, I received 2 good news. News about the aspects of my life that has gotten out of place. But there are 3 of them.  I wonder if God has lost count of the third one?

Mag-aaral ng K to 12: Handa sa Pagharap sa Hamon ng Buhay

"Ang araw na ito ay sadyang espesyal.  Makaraan ang labingwalong taon, narito muli ako sa paaralang nagmulat sa akin ng kahalagahan ng edukasyon, disiplina sa sarili at sa bayan, respeto sa sarili at sa kapwa, ang paaralang nagbigay ng oportunidad sa ordinaryong mag aaral, na lumalakad ng dalawang kilometro kada araw, suot ay gusot gusot na damit at paldang minana mula sa kamag-anakan. Mga ala-alang dala ng labingwalong taon simula nang ako ay nagtapos.

Narito po ako humaharap sa inyo, dala ang pagpupugay, bilang isang alumni ng paaralang elementarya ng San Jose Patag. Mga guro, mahal na prinsipal, mga kagalang galang na panauhin, mga mag-aaral na nagsipagtapos at minamahal nating mga magulang at tumatayong magulang, isang mapagpalang umaga po sa ating lahat.

Sa mga minamahal nating magulang at taga gabay, batid po natin ang ginhawa, sa wakas, na tayo’y makapagpatapos makalipas ang 6 na  mahabang taon sa elementarya. Sa pag gabay sa araw araw mula pag gising nila sa umaga, pagpasok sa paaralan, pamromroblema sa pambaon sa eskwela, pantustos sa pang araw araw nilang pangangailangan, hanggang sila’y makatuntong sa stage na ito at humawak ng diploma, ako bilang bahagi ng lipunang ito na naghahangad ng mas maganda, mas matalino at matuwid na kinabukasan maraming maraming salamat po.

Sa mga guro, na tumatayong ating ikalawang magulang, mga nagsipagtapos, aminin natin, sila minsan ay kontrabida sa araw araw nating buhay sa eskwela, madaming assignment, projects, exams, deadlines. Lilipas ang bawat araw, buwan, taon, magkakaroon tayo ng mga bagong guro na patuloy na gagabay sa atin, mga bagong kakilala, bagong kaibigan, magtuturo ng dapat nating matutunan sa paaralan, at sa buhay.  Ngunit magkaganun pa man, mamimiss natin sila, namiss ko sila.

Nais kong ibahagi ang karanasan ko na minsan ako’y may isang guro na naniwala sa kakayahan ko. Pagkat ako’y mahirap lamang at walang bilib sa sarili, inisip ko, kaya ko ba?  Ngunit dahil sa kanya, kinaya ko, nabuo ang kumpyansa sa sarili ko. Minsan, ang kailangan lang natin ay isang taong maniniwala sa kakayahan natin, at ayoko syang biguin. Sa gurong ito, maraming Salamat po sa tiwala, maraming salamat po sa inyo.

Sa mga nagsipagtapos, nasa kalahati na po tayo ng K to 12. Anim na taon. Anim na taon na lamang ang ating sasanayin upang mas maging handa sa hamon ng buhay. Mga kasanayang dapat nating paghandaan pagtuntong ng grade 10. Ang isa sa may akda ng programang “K to 12” na si Senator Joel Villanueva ay naniniwalang “Dahil sa globalisasyon, kailangang kailangan nating baguhin ang istruktura ng edukasyon at training sa ating bansa upang maging globally competitive ang mga kabataang Pilipino”. Nais din niyang ipabatid, na sa inyo, mga bagong graduates ng taong 2018, sa inyong mga kamay, sa inyong determinasyon at patuloy na pagpapaunlad ng sarili ang inyong tagumpay. Huwag sana nating biguin ang mga taong umaasa at naniniwala sa atin. Ang sabi nga, “hindi natin kasalanan na tayo’y ipinanganak na mahirap, ngunit nasa ating mga kamay kung tayo’y mamamatay na mahirap”.

Sa lahat po ng naririto, batid po nating hindi dito nagtatapos at ito’y panimula lamang. Ating gabayan ang mga kabataan natin upang sila’y huwag maligaw ng landas at patuloy tayong magbigay ng inspirasyon pagkat ang kailangan nila’y gabay, at paniwalang kakayanin nila ang hamon ng buhay.

Sa mga nagsipagtapos, nais naming patunayan ninyo na ang : Mag-aaral ng K to 12: Handa sa Pagharap sa Hamon ng Buhay.

Sa inyo pong lahat, mabuhay at maraming Salamat."