So Likely It Seems

Have I come to a point where a simple crush is not simple anymore?

If you could recall, there was a guy whom I met in Singapore and we keep oblivious those details that are beyond superficial at first glance such as real names, workplace, birthday, age and the like. He flew back to the United States leaving me with a question if I would know where in US he lives in -for fun.

Well, let's just say I still don't know but this story is not about him. It's about, who I happened to find again in search for him.

During my search for clues, obviously, I looked into pieces of crumbs he had left me- one of which was this photo. It was taken when he landed in the US from his trip to Singapore.

The airport image has DTW in it. That means Detroit Airport in Michigan. 

Michigan...

I opened my facebook and typed in, well, "Michigan". One acquaintance profile showed up. I dig into his photos about US. I got interested in his contents. "Ah, so this is what Michigan looks like". "When he landed there, this was what he must have seen". "This could be where he lives in". 

Justin sent me this photo, he's not "the crush" I mentioned here. He's that mystery guy.

It was winter. That was November 2018.

The person-I-was-acquainted-to happens to be living in Michigan.

I had fun looking at the very few photos my acquaintance had posted. Prior to this, I had not been this interested in his profile. One reason was, I had seen his posts about his girlfriend for which I was not interested in looking.

Actually, this person was one of the best looking and smart guy I had known in my workplace. I find him attractive. This is statistically-fetched fact, not emotionally-bound fact.  However, he was just another person I know.

By and by, visiting his profile to immerse myself about MI became something else. The littlest attraction grew to becoming simple admiration. 

I found out that he's still smart and sharp as he used to be, maybe even better. Physique, well, I am attracted to looks, too. He looks even manlier. The handsome guy I used to know did not falter. He fits to the description of my ideals. He always has been. By the way, he's been single so am I.

I started the connection we never had even before. Though we've been virtually acquainted long before, I seldom liked his post. Of the few he had, trim it down to a little more and that's as much as I would "like" among those. 

Then, I became a little more visible. I frequently anticipated his every IG posts and FB updates. If it was in his "myStory" I would send emoji reaction. If it was in his wall, I would heart it or like it. Sometimes we even say Hi's whereby most of the time I 'd be the last person to send a hanging message. It didn't bother me. I still like the mystery guy far more than anyone at that time.

When one of those days, I went on a two week solo travel. I posted a certain "myDay" where I was holding Armenia's travel guide. To my surprise he sent me personal message. We did chat for a while. Ahh... this person started really getting into me.

Days went by I recognized that I had crush on him. I even playfully told my friends about him. 

During my birthday last year, which happens to most of the birthdays per se, he greeted me on my wall to which I replied "Thanks crush". I think he was caught off guard. It was a very funny thing to do on your birthday. Even for once. They'd definitely forgive you for it is your birthday. Right timing. I only got a heart reaction, though.

Things went on as usual- small talks, reactions, nothing special, but every bit made me kilig.

January again. I booked a flight to Japan. Of the small talks during this month, we touched a topic of wanting to go on a trip to Japan to which I told him I had already planned to go. As a matter of fact I had booked my flight. When he found out I was to go by myself, he started to show interest of going, too. So we arranged to go together. Every day we would talk. We get closer by an inch. February came by we still talk, daily. He became fond of me, I could say, even my friends could, too. March went on, COVID19 happened, the trip did not push through. Little by little, we grew further apart, again. Two weeks after the last, we would still say Hi's. I am not too sure how he felt about me. To me, it's still the kilig, level up. Definitely not love.

Fast forward to one week prior to now. I came to know he has crush on someone else. Pity the unsuspecting fb friends, him included, who responded to an online prank. It was where you'd put your name on it and your crush'es name on it to know your compatibility. No harm done. Erm, no major harm. The registered owner of this temporary link would be shown who responded and who their crushes are. Obviously I read it was somebody else. I expected it. The mature, ever understanding lady in me totally assimilated it.

Playful in nature, I would have messaged him and joked about it. This time I chose not to do so. I was thinking, maybe I could use my silence to make him wonder what I was thinking? Well, that would work if I were someone special. 

Regarded the fact that I seldom received reactions from him to my posts minus the daily views fairly dictated that he really isn't into me. So I was not surprised at all.

So I asked myself "Have I come to a point where a simple crush is not simple anymore?".